Tuesday, December 22, 2009
9:17 am,
in which i actually give you an update.
I always forget I have a livejournal. And then when I remember it, I think REVIVAL! and then promptly forget about it again. I'm better at micro-blogging on Twitter - it fits my attention span. This post will be somewhat jagged as I try to catch up on thoughts and past events.
I can't believe Christmas is only a few days away. Unfortunately, Ash and I are spending Christmas apart. I'm extremely heartbroken over this. Someday, we'll have a large enough house that we'll host Christmas and everyone will have to come to us. Tomorrow I leave on a plane for Wisconsin for five days and I come back Sunday. Monday we have friends coming down from Indiana to stay with us for awhile and both Ash and I have been waiting for that for months. Super excited - we've been working on the guestroom a ton and yesterday I bought a queen-sized air mattress to set up in there.
We've been fostering a TNR cat the last month and hoping we can find a good home for her. Her name is Mika and she is beautiful and one of the most affectionate cats I've ever met. She's been to a couple of adoption events and there are a couple of people interested in her, but still no one has sent back the adoption papers. She currently lives in my office with the fish and Kendi. Anyone want a sweet kitten for Christmas?
Last night Ash's dad came over for dinner and Ash made her french onion crispy chicken and I made green bean casserole and we boiled up some potatoes and cooked rice and had a huge meal, complete with fresh pineapple for dessert that Ash cut up. It was so yummy. Saturday we went out to 6th street here in Austin and it was so pretty and decorated and there were a bunch of people dressed up like Santa and elves and reindeer and there were horse drawn carriages and yeah. Austin does it right on Christmas. Anyway, we went to Maggie Mae's for my company's Christmas party and had an okay time. I'm not much for crowded bar scenes, but it was definitely entertaining seeing drunken co-workers.
I cannot remember the last weekend that wasn't amazing. I asked Ash and she couldn't either. We're usually super busy on weekends, going to events, volunteering, hanging out with family - I love Austin, and I love my Ash. Things have just been so GOOD, I'm scared I'm jinxing it by saying it out loud. But it has. I love waking up next to her and falling asleep next to her and just BEING with her. It's like this past month I've just fallen in love with her all over again. When we first moved down here, our relationship was kind of rocky, but everyone kept telling us that if we could get through it together, we could get through anything, that moving is the biggest strain there is on a relationship. They were right about that, that's for sure, but they were also right that we can get through anything. The weekdays are good, but I come home late, we eat dinner, take care of the kids, and then go to sleep. The weekends are ours, and I can honestly say we make the most of them. We just have fun and life is good.
I can't wait to come back from Wisconsin and give her her Christmas presents. I think I really pulled it off this year. I'm excited. I'm excited to see family too in Wisconsin. I get there tomorrow night, celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as usual, possibly head to Madison on Saturday to meet up with a friend or two, see Shelly of course, hopefully see Randi, Laura, and Barb, and then leave on Sunday. Really that leaves me Saturday to see people which is insane. It's a quick trip, but it should be a good one. Then back home to spend a night with Ash and the kids before Amber and her fiance Kayla and her little girl Trinity get here. The end of December is crazy!
Anyone else have some awesome plans?
Contest
HEY YOU GUYS! I'm hosting a contest over at my blog and you should all comment to win! I'm giving away Custom Postcards from UPrinting. 100 of them to be exact. Double-sided, 4x6, gloss cardstock. Go comment to win - imagine what you could do with a 100 postcards! Make sure you read the rules, of course, but it's not that hard.
Yay for contests!
Friday, November 20, 2009
9:40 am,
Last Night I Walked With Dinosaurs
I'm going to try and post some videos I took later tonight, but for now, have a picture (from the website - my pictures are all dark since they were taken with my camera):
You will be astounded and humbled by these beautiful giants that have come to life. I felt like I was living in James Gurney's Dinotopia. My favorite part? The moment the Brachiosaurus walked out. My mouth dropped open, my heart felt like it was too big for my chest, and tears welled in my eyes. A 40 foot dinosaur stood above my head and blinked at me. Tonight, I had a dream come true.
(Originally posted at Snailbird.com)
Friday, November 6, 2009
9:18 pm,
0-31: Another loss for Civil Rights.
I could say it doesn't matter. That we'll get them next time. That this doesn't mean anything in the long run. I could try and convince you that this was a mistake and people really don't think this way. But I'd really just be trying to convince myself. My faith is wavering a little under these staggering statistics. 31 times gay marriage showed up on the ballot. And despite all the knocking on doors, all the blog posts, and rallies and pride events and positive media attention, all the love and support we received, 31 times, THIRTY-ONE times. We were shot down. Denied the rights that every human being should be born with. This isn't about religion. Marriage is no longer conducted only within a church. This isn't about showing off wedding rings and picking out floral centerpieces. This isn't about anybody else but us. Our rights to be with the ones we love. This is about people recognizing that as an accepted reality. This is about our government giving us the basic rights that other married couples have. It's about commitment, and family, and dedication. It's about sharing a bond and being able to proudly introduce a husband or wife. It's about not being afraid. And sure, it's about the tax benefits, and the employment benefits, and government benefits, and being able to see each other in the hospital, and buying a house together, and filing for adoption together, and being seen as a real, honest-to-goodness family, but most of all, most of all it's about Love.I could say that none of it really matters because Love isn't something anyone can deny you. It won't stop us from carrying on with our lives. It won't cause us to break down and decide that it's better off being straight than gay. I'm not going to run away and push my head in the sand and pretend I never liked girls. So it shouldn't matter, right? I should just brush it off. But I can't. It does matter. It matters to me and my girlfriend and every couple out there that is being treated like a second-class citizen. And what for? Why are we being treated with such disrespect? Like we're not good enough to love? Because of bigotry. Because despite our freedom for and from religion, we are still being forced into a box controlled by what other people believe. We are not allowed to have our beliefs if they interfere with the majority. There always has to be sides, it seems, and our government thinks it's fair to allow the majority to dictate how everyone should live their lives. Our country is slowly losing its identity as the Melting Pot. Conformity is the majority and if you don't fit in that box, you're shot down.
It does matter. Losing 31 out of 31 times matters. It's a heavy weight on the heart. They whisper "Someday" but I'm sick of waiting for "Someday" to arrive. We deserve it now.
But patience is a virtue, and so is perseverance. We'll keep fighting, keep talking, keep waving our rainbow flags in the air defiantly. We'll hoot and holler in your face at every parade and every protest. I'll keep living the life I'm living. I'll keep waking up next to my girlfriend every morning and remembering every moment just why I fell in love with her. And I'll keep questioning why. Why are we not equal? Why are we not seen as a real family? And I'll keep looking for answers.
And I'll keep telling myself it's okay. We'll get them next time.
(Originally posted at Snailbird.com on Nov 4, 2009 @ 1:57pm.)
Friday, October 30, 2009
8:52 am,
some morning ramblings.
Today I just feel... I have no idea what word I'd use. Restless? Yearning for something? Full of wanderlust? I really don't know. I guess I just feel like there's more out in the world. I want better for my family. I guess everyone does really, but I don't know. Ash and I watched WALL-E for the first time last night and we both cried and were both happy and we've agreed it's (one of) our favorite Pixar movie(s). Just beautifully made, perfect message. But it's left me with this feeling that there is so much more in the world that we can do.
I want to be successful and take care of Ash and the kids. I want to do big things to make positive impacts on the Earth. I want to explore jungles and deserts and mountains and I want to find in myself something new and secret and magical. I want to be told that I am someone special and that I can do anything. I want to push my limits and find out what I'm made of. I want to wrap my arms around Ash and be able to promise her that I can make everything and anything right that's wrong. I want to be able to not worry about money for vet bills and take care of our kids. I want to make our life perfect; I want people to see us and recognize what good people we are. I want our friends to live closer.
I want to be a better girlfriend. I want to be a better friend. We've slowly started meeting people here. I've got some work friends, and Ash and I are starting to hang out with our new friend Samantha, but we miss our old friends. Why do people have to live so spread out? Indiana, Wisconsin, Colorado, Montana, Florida, Iowa, Mississippi, New York, California... they're all over the place. Come stay with us in Austin - you'll like it.
I'm trying to be more empathetic. Ash is all about empathy and I get really caught up in my own feelings and zone out a lot and it hurts her feelings, even though she knows it's unintentional. So far I think it's working. I'm more conscious of how she's feeling. I mean it's slow going at the moment, but I know it'll get better. I have faith in myself (and so does she). At least here in Austin we have more opportunities to finally act like girlfriends. Whether we're at the hospital, a restaurant, or just walking in downtown, I don't feel any sort of worry about what people will think when I touch her cheek or kiss her shoulder or slip my arm into hers. I love living in a liberal city.
I'm feeling better. Today is the Halloween party here at work. My Max costume didn't work out, so today I am a pirate (of course). Ash is coming for the party at three so she can finally see where I work and meet some of my co-workers, though the person I've been trying to get her to meet isn't here (he's on vacation with his partner and won't be back till Monday). It'll be fun. There'll be food.
In any case. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm going to make my life better. I can't wait around for it to just become so. I need to find my optimism and let it overwhelm me. I need to smile more (that one's easy, I just have to think about that cute grin of Ash's and I'm grinning like a moron). And I'm going to stop worrying so much about little things. Lately my comeback for when I start getting stressed or worried is "This is just one thing in the big picture. It doesn't really matter." It's been working. Should have thought of that one sooner.
Right. Back to work.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
8:43 am,
in which i gripe some more.
I was so good last night. I finished the second meme from
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nanomango (yeah I know, I'm way behind), but I have to scan it when I get home. I'll probably work on the third one at lunch today.Going to try and make a doctor's appointment as soon as I can. Woke up with my throat swollen over the legal limit and the rash has spread up my neck. Wearing a turtle neck today to try and hide it. I'm also just SORE. Like mono-sore. I don't think I have the flu because it feels different from it. Maybe I have strep. I don't know. Either way, I have very little sick days so here I am at work trying to wake myself up with some chai (I've cut myself off of coffee completely - go me!).
I still haven't gotten my halloween costume together yet. I need to get on that. I'm going to Max from Where the Wild Things Are. I need a tail.
Wow this is flighty. I'm tired and sick and you know what, I wish I had a Mac at home because I love my work computer to pieces.
I'm going to try and not fall asleep today. Ciao.
(I'm revamping my journal so it might look weird for awhile. Be patient. Anyone wanna buy me a paid account so I can redesign it too? No? Well fine.)
.back in the days.
.back to the top.
